Springfield Now!
by Joe Hamm
Summary: What would Springfield be like if it wasn't stuck in the nineties? This probably. Lisa is stuck in a cycle of drunken one night stands with Millhouse and Bart is... well Bart is Bart. The parents who messed them up? Well they have marriage problems.


SPRINGFIELD NOW

The scene starts outside a Krusty Burger. The sun is shining. A cat resembling SCRATCHY and a big shaggy DOG exit the Krusty Burger following a middle-aged BART. They are on a lead. BART is also carrying a mouse resembling ITCHY in his hand while holding the leads to SCRATCHY and DOG in the other one. He is holding a burger in his mouth. As he walks down the street he passes and elderly CHIEF WIGGUM with his son RALPH.

BART

(Still eating) Efro Waph and Chif. Aroo sfill up fror crards rator Waph?

RALPH

(Gets out a small little black box with buttons and a dial and then says via the device which has a robotic voice) Y-E-S.

BART

(Spits out burger) You got yourself a talk box?

RALPH

(Via device) Y-E-S

BART

Change the voice it's really annoying but how'd you get it?

RALPH

(Plays with dial and the voice changes to a sexy woman) I stole it. I'm a bad girl. Don't tell daddy.

BART

He is right next to you.

RALPH

(Via device still with the same voice) D'oh. I need to be taught a lesson.

BART

God this is weird…

RALPH

(Fiddles with the dial)

BART

I didn't say stop…

Cuts to an older LISA lying naked next to an equally naked MILHOUSE. LISA wakes up and notices MILHOUSE.

LISA

Oh god… not again! (Gets up and puts her dressing gown on and attempts to sneak out)

MILHOUSE

(Waking up) Oh no you don't! Not again Lisa Simpson!

LISA makes a run for it. She gets into her car still in her dressing gown and begins to drive. MILHOUSE is continuing to chase her completely naked down the street before he runs out breath and falls flat on his face in the middle of the street. SHERRI walks over and cuffs him.

SHERRI

Well well well If it isn't Milhouse Van Houten… Terri will be delighted to see you again after _that _party… see you in court that is! (Chuckles)

Cuts to LISA parking her car next to her home. She gets her cell phone from the front compartment. She dials.

LISA  
(On phone) Bart I've done something very stupid...

Screen splits in to two to reveal Bart is on the other side.

BART  
What Milhouse? (Laughs)

LISA  
yea...

BART  
(Stops laughing) What? Again? I told him to lay off my sister.

LISA  
I know I was there. You were drunk. (Imitates Bart drunk) Lay off my sister.

BART  
How did this even happen? Let me guess... Janey's party?

LISA  
Yeah...

BART  
Where is Milhouse?

LISA  
I don't know. I left him naked in the street...

BART  
Woah Lisa! You may be my sister but you got style...

LISA  
Shut up Bart... (Hangs up)

Cuts to an elderly HOMER and MARGE in the kitchen of a bungalow. HOMER is shoveling bacon down his throat and MARGE is washing up.

HOMER  
Marge... my heart hurts again...

MARGE  
It's your own fault. I told you to eat that bacon (emphasis) slowly.

MARGE walks over to the fridge and gets a can of beer and throws it to HOMER.

HOMER  
Thanks. (Takes a swig) That'll put out that fire. Well thanks Marge. Have a good time on your date with Lenny... I'm going to go to Moe's. (Gets up and leaves)

Cuts to LISA opening her front door.

COLIN  
(Off screen) Hey Lisa is that you?

LISA  
(Looking around) Erm... yes. Be there in a second. (Runs up stairs to get changed)

Cuts to MILHOUSE in a police cell. Still naked.

MILHOUSE  
Hey could I perhaps have some clothes?

SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN  
Gee I'd love to but Sherri would kill me... she wants to see you suffer maximum humiliation...

Cuts to COLIN in the kitchen cooking.

COLIN  
(Shouting upstairs) Hey Lisa is everything alright?

LISA  
(O.S.) Yeah... I'll be down in a minute...

The door bell rings. COLIN answers the door and MOLEMAN is there. He is wearing a policeman's uniform.

COLIN  
Hello there.

MOLEMAN  
Are you Miss Simpson?

COLIN  
No... that's my fiance... why is she in trouble?

MOLEMAN  
(Hands Colin a piece of paper and walks off)

LISA walks down the stairs. She walks into the kitchen.

LISA  
I saw Bart earli... (notices Colin sitting at the table reading the court order) Is anything up?

COLIN  
Indecent exposure...

LISA  
What?

COLIN  
Milhouse has been charged with indecent exposure... apparently he was chasing you down the road.

LISA  
Oh crap...

Cuts to HOMER at MOE's bar. RALPH, BART, CHIEF WIGGUM and BARNEY are all sitting at the bar with HOMER.

BARNEY  
Hey Homer... where is Carl?

HOMER  
Which one? The black guy?

BARNEY  
Whah? Black guy...

MOE  
Yes Homer.

HOMER  
Lenny is on a date with Marge?

BARNEY  
The Black guy?

BART  
Mom Marge?

MOE  
Your current wife Marge?

HOMER  
Yeah. (Pauses for a second takes a drink from his duff) D'oh! (Runs out the door)

Cuts to HOMER storming into the Googolplex. He marches down to the row which MARGE and LENNY are sitting on. The film is an anime superhero parody called 'The Harpooner!'

HOMER  
(Shouts) And when were you planning to consult me on this?

MARGE  
Shush Homer... people are trying to watch the film. I explained everything to you the other night. You are endangering my life and I think it'd be better if we didn't see each other in that way anymore. You took it well... **now** if you want to talk about perhaps after the film?

CARL storms in and marches down to LENNY and MARGE's row.

CARL  
Homer have you heard about this! I can't believe you would do this to me Lenny!

HOMER  
(Whispers to Marge) Who is this guy? (Then shouts) B-b-but this is completely unaccepta... (Sits down in-between Lenny and Marge, steals Lenny's popcorn and begins to eat and watch he then says with his mouth full) I think I've seen this movie.

CARL  
(Sits down) Yeah me to. I love harpoons.

HOMER  
They are sadly underused in popular culture. But the Japanese know where it is at!

MARGE  
(Looks at Lenny) Well I suppose this is nice.

LENNY  
Yeah.

DUFFMAN  
(Leans in from the row behind) Oh yea! It is nice to the max.

MARGE  
It's nice because we all know each-other...

DUFFMAN  
Oh... Duffman apologizes!

HOMER  
Quit forcing Duffman to apologize. I wouldn't force your messiah to apologize...

MARGE  
(Sighs)

http:/ generationyellow. proboards. com


End file.
